Katy

How are you feeling today?

Overwhelmed and excited.

What are you most proud of?

My resilience and ability to adapt to whatever life throws my way.

What is your biggest learning in life so far?

That humans try to fit everything into tidy boxes and categories, and that nothing fits into tidy boxes and categories. Everything is messy, everything has contradictions, there are always exceptions, most things exist on a spectrum. Life is more interesting if we embrace the complexity instead of trying to manage it.

What are your hopes for the future?

I hope I always stay open to new possibilities; am surrounded by people I love and who love me; and that I always have a mix of the comfort that comes from small, daily pleasures, and the excitement of planning and experiencing big adventures. 

What would you tell your younger self?

The world and the experiences you can have are so much bigger than you're imagining right now. Most of the beliefs you hold now, you'll no longer hold once you're grown. You've experienced a lot of chaos and have done your best to cope. You've lived in survival mode from necessity. As you grow, you'll find ways to build stability and support in your life. You won't always have to operate from a place of fear and anxiety, but it's going to take you a long time to believe it and learn to do it differently. Your therapists will all praise your resilience. You can be proud of that while also creating a life that doesn't require so much of it. You'll have multiple experiences that will strip you to your core, but you will grow and adapt into new versions of you. Your life won't look anything like you're imagining. But you're going to be okay.

When or where are you happiest?

Spending time with people I love, in the swamp looking for alligators, finding new shore birds, riding my bike, playing video games, drinking tiki drinks, and reading good books.

What would you like to say to wider society?

You've been told that we're selfish, that our lives aren't filled with as much meaning or love, that we should be pitied. I hope you can set any preconceived notions about who we are aside and take time to get to know us. Ask us about our lives, recognize our ability to create full lives without children, be curious, look for our strengths instead of only seeing the things you think we lack.