Francesca

How are you feeling today?

I am feeling pretty good. I still struggle with some situations, but I have come to accept that is normal and to go easy on myself on those days.

What are you most proud of?

That I am turning a difficult time into my life into something positive. Although it can be hard at times, I share my story to make people more aware of the issues of childlessness and me and my husband are now focusing on our “baby” – an astronomy charity. We may not be able to inspire our own child but that doesn’t mean we can’t help thousands of others.

What is your biggest learning in life so far?

That it doesn’t always turn out the way we hoped or planned but that it is a beautiful and crazy journey.

What are your hopes for the future?

To continue healing and through continuing to raise awareness of childlessness I am hopeful to educate people about how it feels to be childless not by choice and for people to be kinder and more understanding.

What would you tell your younger self?

That having a baby is not something that happens easily or even at all for some women and that having a child does not define you or your future happiness.

When or where are you happiest?

I am happiest when I am at home with my husband and two dogs or spending time with friends and family.  

What would you like to say to wider society?

That asking the question “Do you have Kids?” whilst harmless to you can bring up a whole raft of emotions for the woman that you have asked.  You don’t know they journey she has travelled – it may include child loss, miscarriage etc.  So please stop asking it. 

Also, that IVF and adoption are not the miracle cure for Childlessness and just because “a friend of a friend had her miracle” it doesn’t mean it will happen for everyone. There are women who will never have children – and they need your kindness and understanding – not your judgement.