Kathleen
How are you feeling today?
Hopeful. This morning I applied my first HRT (hormone replacement therapy) patch. Yet again, I had to answer questions like “Any chance you’re pregnant?” (Nope.), “How many children do you have?” (None.), and “When was your last period?” (Four years ago when I had a hysterectomy. PLEASE read your file before asking me these questions.) I’m hoping to make it through this next chapter of my life with grace.
What are you most proud of?
I’m still standing. That’s enough. I am enough.
What is your biggest learning in life so far?
I can only be in this moment. Sure, I plan, I set goals, I have dreams, then Life has always taken me in different directions. I’m mostly along for the ride. So, I’ve learned to pause, breathe, notice, and give thanks for where and who I am right now.
What are your hopes for the future?
That I’ll continue making friends of all ages, throughout my ages. This tops my list today, as I am assisting friends and family members through their golden years, and I worry about my own potential future social isolation. This goes deeper as a childless woman. I don’t have that “natural” support of offspring. I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. I hope there will be several someones who will be there for me, with me, not because I’m paying them, but because we care about each other. Wouldn’t it be amazing if this became a global movement?
What would you tell your younger self.
“Your 50s are going to be fabulous – you can’t even imagine! I know things are hard now and you’re confused, frustrated, disappointed, and scared. I know you have this picture in your mind of how your life should be, and (spoiler alert) you’re going to hurt. But you’ll also be equipped to work through it and to grieve your losses. You’ll be supported by amazing friends and far-flung acquaintances. You won’t be alone. Some things are going to come together in ways that are even better than you’ve dreamed. Chin up, sweet girl. I’ll meet you on the other side.”
When or where are you happiest?
I married at 45, and my husband was worth the wait. With him, wherever we are, I feel “at home.” I can’t believe how lucky I am that we found each other. If I’m solo, my re-set place is the beach, any beach. There’s something about the mist in the air, the briny scent, the roar (wild or gentle) of the surf, my feet in the sand. I love it in every season. Fortunately, I’ve lived my whole life near California’s Pacific coastline.
What would you like to say to wider society?
How about we ditch the labels and start with “I see you.”